The Decline Of Common Courtesy

Question: Weren’t we all brought up by our parents with a sense of manners? Let’s have a look at the originations of the word “Courtesy”…

n. pl. cour·te·sies

Polite behavior.
A polite gesture or remark.
n 1: a courteous or respectful or considerate act 2: a courteous or respectful or considerate remark 3: a courteous manner [syn: good manners] [ant: discourtesy]

adj.
Given or done as a polite gesture: paid a courtesy visit to the new neighbors.

Interesting. What this tells me is that good manners and courtesy are irrevocably linked. Now, getting back to the question of people’s upbringing, then why do we not see courtesy extended a bit more?

I’ll give you some examples of what I am seeing, as served up to me during a typical work day.

So, driving to work. Guy on my tail. Close. How about doing me the courtesy of backing off, therefore allowing yourself some time to actually apply the brakes and come to a full and complete stop if I so happen to apply my brakes in the attempt to come to a full and complete stop, you don’t run on into me…

Or, another example of discourtesy whilst driving is the fun you have merging into traffic. Now look, when I am coming off a ramp to busy traffic, do you expect me to come to a stop until a gap opens up? Just bide my time? Nope, in the efforts of smooth traffic flow, if I put my signal on and there’s room for me to pull my car into traffic, don’t speed up just to stop my getting in… I mean, c’mon pal, what’s the point there? So you can get to where you’re going one car-length faster than you would have if you let me in front of you? Oh, and by the way, what’s with the bird you’re flipping at me? Um, no need for road rage here.

Alrighty then, now I’m in the flow of traffic, merrily driving my way to work, sipping my coffee, listening to the morning show on some idiotic radio station or other (except Drive 105 that is – shout out to the Twin Cities Alternative…), look out to one side or the other and watch the car/truck/SUV slowly slide into my lane. Why? Because they’re on the cellphone. Therefore, please do me the courtesy of PUTTING THE FUCKING PHONE DOWN AND PAYING ATTENTION BEFORE YOU DRIVE MY ASS OFF THE ROAD!!!

Pet peeve, sorry.

You know what gets to me at work? Elevators. Now we have ones here that, instead of getting in and pressing the floor you want, you actually select it outside and it tells you which one to go to. Pretty smart. But picture this – two people are waiting for the elevator, Person A is getting out on the fourth floor and Person B is getting out on the seventh floor. That means that two floors are displayed as being selected for destinations. So, as A gets in they quickly whip around and press the door close button before you even get in, even though it clearly shows that someone else has pressed a button and is going to get in. So, as the doors close on Person B’s arms, Person B can quite coolly level a glare at A that would make a raisin shrivel.

Sometimes it is not that obvious though, such as when B is walking behind A and they both get in, and A just reaches out and backhands the button. This befuddles me, since it is clear that I am not… um, I mean, Person B is not a Ninja, capable of cutting his way through the night silently and deadly, totally undetectable. Nope, Person B is an average everyday 6 foot 1 inch 200lb male who sometimes shuffles his feet and makes noise. So when B eludes the snapping doors and gives the old “Thanks for holding the elevator for me” comment, and in turn gets the lame-ass “Oh, didn’t see you there”, you know it’s bullshit.

Once again, does this discourtesy help you get to lunch or wherever you are going that much more quickly? The best part is when the above-referenced door-closing and subsequent tête-a-tête occurs then the elevator stops at each floor to let people on. Ha! Let’s see you rush now pal (and you know who you are…).

Oh, what about the people who walk in as you’re getting out? That’s when you square your shoulders, angle your way in front of them, and as they bump into you or brush you aside, you give them the old “Excuse me…”, usually accompanied by a glance over the shoulder or something like that.

That probably doesn’t sound too good, almost like I’m angling for physical contact bordering on violence, but that’s not the case. It’s just the old bump n’ run, make you aware of what you did tactics. Nothing serious here, and all can be excused away. But, it will get the person’s attention.

Do you ever hold doors open for people either behind you or coming through in front? Nope? Why not? There’s another peeve – you’re one step behind someone and they can’t be nice enough to just hold the door for that extra second for you. I have a rule – I call it the “Three Step Rule”, meaning that if you’re more than three paces behind I will atleast give the semblance of holding it open, but not really. Otherwise, if you’re within range, you get the door held for you. And please say “Thank You’ – that’s good manners.

What about walking down a corridor or aisle at work, at the grocery store, in church, I dunno, pick a place that has aisles and apply here… two, three, more people walking one way abreast. Do you think they can at least move so someone coming the other way can get past them? Uh huh. What if they stop for a conversation? How many times do you have to say “Excuse Me” before you’re heard?

Ah well… Anyhow, those are just some of my peeves. Since I thought about putting all this down in the electronic ether I have noticed this more and more. C’mon people – have some respect for your fellow human beings, and treat us in the way you would like, nay demand (and you do, very vociferously I may add), to be treated.

It isn’t too much to ask.

One final thing – when you’re talking to a woman, no matter how “nice” her “figure” might be, look at her eyes, okay? There ya go.