Mmmm, that smell!

I like to think I have heightened olfactory senses. Sure, they may not be as good as a dog's senses, but I have a pretty good nose. So, as I sit here at my desk at work, suffering in the cloud of sharp, eye-watering, overdosed cheap-ass perfume the lady over the wall is wearing, I thought about the smells in my life that I have come to love.

Weird subject maybe, but that's me.

You may think it's going to be chock-full of the usual ones - perfume, incense etc. No. Though I am a fan of Coco Chanel.

Anyway, here they are, in no particular order:

1) Spaghetti Bolognaise simmering slowly over a low flame. Now this takes me back to my childhood... no, I'm not Sicilian and am not remembering "the old neighborhood", but I'm remembering Thursday evenings when Mum was at tennis and Dad was still at work, I would make dinner. Invariably that would be my special Spaghetti Bolognaise. Brown ground beef in olive oil, but be sure to add freshly minced cloves of garlic... but it was really the sauce that got me going - it would waft throughout the kitchen area, a nice blend of tomatoes, herbs and garlic, with a dash of red wine... Mmmmmmmm, and though I have tried many times to re-create it, it just doesn't quite smell the same as the good old days.

2) Diesel exhaust - weird. But I like the sweet-smelling cloud of blue or black smoke when a bus takes off, or a truck belches. Smells manly. If only I could bottle it! Sell it for an extreme profit.

3) BBQ - doesn't matter what's on the grill, it smells good. Smells even better during winter, as the smoke hangs around and inundates everything. Here in Minneapolis I used to walk about 15 minutes back and forth to where I parked my car on Washington Ave, and my route would take me past one of the city's firehouses. These guys grilled all the freakin' time, and in winter it was specially inviting - I could smell it for at least a two block radius either side of the firehouse. And of course, since I was walking back at just around dinner time, the ol' tummy was rumbling.

4) Fresh coffee - open a new can, breathe in, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I'd be of absolutely no use as a drug dog.

5) Cigar smoke. Otherwise known as Eau De Man. Sitting on the back deck, holding a fresh glass of Vitamin B & C (Beam and Coke for the uninitiated), wreathed in cigar smoke... perfect.

When we talk about the flip, however, there are just too many to answer. But hark back to the lady over the wall... At work we are supposed to have a policy where we are sensitive to multiple chemical sensory effects or some such bullshit. Problem is, how do you make someone aware that their $4.97 WalMart special is giving you an aneurism without coming off as an asshole? Trick is, you can't. Especially when you're stuck in an elevator. That brings me to another tangent - smelly elevators. We have a lot of "business partners" from the sub-continent who eat spicy shit all the time. Not saying that I'm not a fan of curry, but these guys sweat that shit out. And it pongs, and you get tagged with that. You can only hope, having entered an elevator where there are traces (!) of this lingering stench, that when you reach your destination, no-one else is going to get in. Because there is no way that this new person is not going to think it was you, is there?