Long Way From Home

There are times in everyone's lives when one realises that they are a long way from home.

In my case it's exactly 7580.31 miles between New Zealand and the United States. And I say home in a general sense of the word. My home is here, but my homeland is New Zealand.

So, the following is a copy of an email I just sent Mum and Dad a few minutes ago... A lot of things have been weighing on my mind recently about their health. A background as such: My mother has Lupus and Arthritis, and suffers the odd migraine. It's definitely not as bad as it has been in the past, and I distinctly recall the days where she was laid up in bed with the curtains tightly drawn suffering from both a head migraine, but also a stomach migraine (at least that is what she called it... ). In other words she could barely open her eyes, and could not move. But she's a fighter, strong-willed Irish RC background... Dad on the other hand is a different story. Years ago he had an operation on his varicose veins. During that operation he had an anaphalactic reaction - not to latex, or prescription medicines, a bee didn't sting him in the OR, but to the anesthetic. For more information, take a look here:

http://www.netwellness.org/question.cfm/8842.htm

Interesting (and honestly quite frightening) reading. Since that time, his heart hasn't quite been the same - neither as strong or as regular as you would like. Combine that fun fact with what happened a few yeaars ago, you start to worry. A few years ago, Dad had stomach pain. Thought it was gas, and paracetomol took care of most of it. But, it kept recurring, to the point where, finally, Dad got himself off to the doctor. That's not as easy as it may sound. Mum and Dad live in a little town of barely 800 people in the middle of New Zealand's South Island high country. It's an hour and a half drive to the nearest "city" which is really a large town - Oamaru, on the East Coast of the South Island. Fortunately, NZ has a great healthcare system, and they promptly diagnosed diverticulitis, or a twisitng of the bowel. So, Dad went in for surgery. Unfortunately, during surgery (and no, not the anesthesia, he has a Medic-Alert bracelet and file about that) the surgeons found a couple of lumpy things tucked in under the folds where his gut had twisted up. Turns out these were cancerous polyps. 8000 miles away from my homeland and I find out the old man's got cancer. Fuck. I don't exactly have a few thousand bucks laying around for a plane ticket home. What to do? Well, faith in the NZ healthcare system, my Dad's tough Pommie bearing (that's English, and not the Toff English, but the hard East End of London English, fank you very much, geezer!), and a couple words with the Good Lord above, he fought through the removal of these polyps and the subsequent tratments to the affected areas.

Now a couple of weeks ago Mum sends me the following:

We are sick of going up and down to hospitals. Len is having a colonoscopy this coming Friday. That's when they put the camera into the bowel - just hope it doesn't show any nasties this time! He's improved a hell of a lot over the last three months but it's meant having weekly blood tests which means trotting off down to the doctor - who, incidentally finished up in Kurow, two Fridays ago. I think I was her last patient. She took a biopsy off the weird patch on my lower leg! Haven't heard back about it yet. Pleased my eyes seem OK - just a few floaters and flashes. Doc at hospital in Dunedin, reckons I am rather young to be getting them and is getting me an appointment for an MRI - another trip to Dunedin - just to check what is causing some other weird vision things I've been seeing. Thinks it could be neurological. Apparently she discussed my responses to her questions, with all the other registrars, and they were all rather intrigued. Whatever. Quite looking forward to it actually as it might explain the head pains and migraines I've been having for years.

Um ,yeah, just a bit nervous... So, I have been sitting here wondering, waiting etc, desperately wanting to know more, but knowing I just have to bide my time. So tonight, I just wanted Mum and Dad to know how I've been feeling etc. I'm not good at putting these things into words, so excuse the hesitations, re-writes etc that this took. It's not exactly the way I spoke it out to myself, but Mum and Dad, here's how I'm feeling...

How are you doing... I know it's been a wee while since I last emailed you, but I have been thinking a lot about human frailty and getting older and stuff...

It seems that the most news we have had recently from you guys concerns your health - Dad going into hospital to get his heart and tubes checked out because something didn't seem quite right... Then, upon hearing that, it's back off to the hospital for his colonoscopy, oh and by the way they removed a couple of polyps to run biposy's on. Doc thinks it's going to be OK but going to hear back? Then you are in because of your headaches, taking MRI's etc... To tell you the truth it's all a bit worrying to me.

Now I appreciate you keeping me informed of what is all going on, and I am sure that as soon as you hear anything back, I will be informed in due course, and I appreciate that. Don't get me wrong. It's just hard for me to read this sometimes being so freakin' far from home, and knowing just what an effort it would be to get back home in case something was to ever go wrong etc... I just wanted to share with you the concerns I have. I hope you can understand where I am coming from as well... By no means should you stop letting me know, and don't worry about me... I'm just being a worrywort, but for some reason I always tend to think of the worst-case scenario... I think that's more due to my preference for planning things out, preparing for any and all eventualities. Or maybe I am worrying out of turn, shit, I don't know.

I just wanted to get that off my chest is all...

Oh, and when I say "I" it stands for all of us here.

Anyways, have you heard anything back about all the tests and stuff yet? If and when you do, please let me know and don't soft-soap things for my behalf. That's all I ask.

Come to think of it, we've been through this all before, so I am probably repeating myself for no good reason, but as I said above, I just wanted to let you know. Thanks for listening.

So, read and think of it what you will. That's my feelings there. I'm a long long way from home, and it won't be easy to get back if all goes to shit on a shovel, but deal with it I shall.