Real Men Don't Cry

Ever heard the phrase "Guys aren't supposed to cry"?

I have a one word answer for that - bovine fecal matter. Ain't nothign wrong with crying. We all should do it. Here's what Wikipedia.org has to say about the societal aspects:

Most mammals will produce tears in response to extreme pain or other stimuli, but crying as an emotional reaction is considered by many to be a uniquely human phenomenon, possibly due to humans' advanced self-awareness. Some studies suggest that elephants and gorillas may cry as well.[5]
In nearly all cultures, crying is seen as a specific act associated with tears trickling down the cheeks and accompanied by characteristic sobbing sounds. Emotional triggers are most often anger and grief, but crying can also be triggered by sadness, joy, fear, laughter or humor, frustration, or other strongly-experienced emotions.
In many cultures, crying is associated with babies and children. Some cultures consider crying to be undignified and infantile, casting aspersions on those who cry publicly, except if it is due to the death of a close friend or relative. In most cultures, it is more socially acceptable for women to cry than men.

So, why can't men cry? I know I do it... I cried last time my parents were here and we sent them off at the airport for the long trip home. Not ashamed. In fact, I tried to make fun of it. But the end result was the same, I still cried.

Where's the shame in it? Why can't guys let their emotions talk for them. It's only natural. Sure, when someone you love passes away you are "allowed" to show a public display of grief, but what about when you are really happy about something? What if you have been striving long and hard to achieve an objective, and finally the time comes when you have reached that goal - let it out!

Weddings - I was at one the other weekend for a couple of friends of mine, and when the bride came down the aisle my buddy was not ashamed to let a few tears roll out. And, when the time came to say their wedding vows, a few more came out, he got all choked up. Power to the people! Go for it! It's a big fuckin' deal so let them roll... And if anyone has a problem with it, they can tell their story walking. Weddings are emotional - all he was doing was showing to her and all of us just how deep his love and affection is. I, personally, appreciated it. Oh, sure, there was a wee bit of quiet snickering in the pews, but that came from the morons who would likely hold the position that men don't cry.

When my wife was giving birth to our two daughters I let them fly. Why not? This is birth, new life, the reason man is on this planet. It shook me to the core that Kristine and I had produced a little human being who we were going to shape, who's life we are going to hold in the palm of our hands. Our daughters are part of us - now tell me that ain't emotional? Sure, it's okay for Kristine to cry, after all, she's a girl. But me? Hell no... I'm supposed to run down the corridors waving cigards around shouting "Look at me! I'm a new Father". I'd rather take the time to let my emotions do their merry thing and then go for a run...

Another case in point - when London (our oldest now 7) was about a year and a half old she contract pnuemonia. Frightening seeing her at Children's Hospital with IV's and breathing tubes and the works, looking helpless and lost in the big hospital bed. I was scared, and I cried. Why not?

Movies - they make me cry, I'm not ashamed to say. Here's proof positive (liberally quoting from "Sleepless In Seattle"):

Sam Baldwin: Although I cried at the end of "the Dirty Dozen."
Greg: Who didn't?
Sam Baldwin: Jim Brown was throwing these hand grenades down these airshafts. And Richard Jaeckel and Lee Marvin [Begins to cry]
Sam Baldwin: were sitting on top of this armored personnel carrier, dressed up like Nazis... Greg: [Crying too] Stop, stop!
Sam Baldwin: And Trini Lopez...
Greg: Yes, Trini Lopez!
Sam Baldwin: He busted his neck while they were parachuting down behind the Nazi lines... Greg: Stop.
Sam Baldwin: And Richard Jaeckel - at the beginning he had on this shiny helmet...
Greg: [Crying harder] Please no more. Oh God! I loved that movie.

Classic example. Nope, actually I mean more like at the end of "Empire of the Sun" when Jamie Graham meets his parents for the first time in years after the war and they do not recognize him - that's emotional. "Dead Poets Society" gets me all wrenched up too... And y'know what? I'm not ashamed to talk about it...

But the real questions here is: Why is it wrong for guys to cry? Men are supposed to be the bulwarks of society, the ones who hold everything together when the chips fall. Men are supposed to be staunch, not letting things get to them, to be strong. Thus, society (or at least a part of it) looks at you differently if you betray these stereotypes. Well ,to that I say "Fuck society". You can cry and still be strong. I do and I am.